top of page

How To Find Yourself Again After Losing Yourself In The Pleasing Of Others


You're Not Alone

It’s easy to lose yourself in the pleasing of others. Whether it’s your partner, your children, your boss, or even your friends, you can find yourself sacrificing your own needs in order to make someone else happy. And while there’s nothing wrong with being generous and giving to others, it’s important to make sure that you don’t lose yourself in the process.

Fortunately, it is possible to find yourself again after losing yourself in the pleasing of others. It just takes a little bit of time and effort. Keep reading to learn how to find yourself again after losing yourself in the pleasing of others!



You Matter

You matter. It is so important to remind yourself of this when you find yourself in the perpetual cycle of pleasing other people and exhausting yourself in the process. You are worthy of being taken care of and you are responsible for creating healthy boundaries and nurturing your mind, body and soul.

It is necessary to recognize that you can’t devote yourself to pleasing others if you do not first meet your own needs and love yourself. You need to prioritize your own well-being and find ways to show yourself love and appreciation.


Start by taking time out for yourself each and every day. This could be as simple as reading a book, listening to music, or taking a warm bath. Allow yourself to do something that brings joy to your life, something that makes you forget about pleasing others and instead brings you joy, peace, and calm.


It's Okay To Be Scared


We often forget that it's okay to be scared. It is often seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence, but this is not the case. Fear is natural and being scared is healthy; it is our body's attempts to protect us from harm.

Letting go of the things that give us a sense of safety and comfort can be intimidating and even intimidating. Allow yourself to feel the emotions of anxiety, fear and other negative emotions. It can be helpful for your to speak with a therapist, or even just a friend, to get help in understanding and managing these emotions.


Spirituality can also be of great help in this journey of self-discovery, as it can provide a sense of connection with the larger universe and guide you to a greater understanding of yourself and the world around you. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to unlocking one's true potential and purpose, so take time to explore different spiritual practices in order to find what works best for you.

Allow yourself moments to be scared—they are a part of life. Accept the fear and doubt and use it as a guide to inform your decision making and create a future that is more aligned with your personal values and desires. Being scared is not an insurmountable obstacle, but an invitation to overcome fear and find your strength.


Believe In Yourself


Belief in yourself is the cornerstone of personal growth and development. It may be difficult to take risks in life when you are afraid and uncertain. It can be daunting to think of yourself as capable, talented, and successful, but it is essential to break free from pleasing others and find yourself again.


Take stock of all the things you have achieved in your life and remind yourself of the lessons you have learned. Seek out support and encouragement, both within and outside of your circle. Look more deeply at yourself, acknowledging both your weaknesses and strengths and begin to set goals that are in line with your values, dreams and desires.

The key is to be kind and gentle to yourself. Spend time each day and week visualizing, meditating and taking action to acknowledge your strengths and practice believing in yourself. This can include journaling, reading inspirational books or articles, listening to podcasts and engaging in activities that bring joy and peace.


Remember, you are capable of incredible things—sometimes it's just a matter of believing in yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone to make your dreams a reality. Taking time to truly take care of yourself is the key to unlocking your true potential and finding yourself again.


You Deserve To Be Heard


One of the best things you can do when you’re finding yourself after pleasing others is to ensure that your voice is heard. This can be difficult, especially if you are use to tuning out your own voice. But now is the time to give yourself permission to speak up and be the unique person you are.


To get started on this journey, have a honest conversation with yourself about the type of person you want to be. Don’t be afraid to voice what you think is right. Speak up about the things that matter to you, and don’t be afraid to take a stand.


Be yourself. That might mean saying no to things that don’t feel right or rejecting the status quo in order to live the life that is true to you. Having your own perspective is important and it’s not selfish. It’s how we grow as individuals and contribute to society in meaningful ways. Everyone deserves to be heard, and that includes you.


You're Worth It

You can’t move forward to find yourself after pleasing others until you understand your own worth. It’s easy to get caught up in what other people think and their expectations. But, a healthy sense of self-worth starts when you accept and love yourself.


Have a difficult conversation with yourself and explore what makes you unique and valuable. Give yourself credit for all your accomplishments, whether they’re big or small. And don’t forget to acknowledge the hard work you’ve been putting in to start this journey. You’re worth it!


Make sure that as you’re moving forward, you’re also taking care of yourself and your emotional well-being. Show yourself some compassion. Give yourself the same grace that you would give to a friend and honor the special person that you are.

Now Is Your Time


Now its time to start creating some new goals and looking to the future. Take some time to explore what kind of future you want to create for yourself. Dip your toes into some new waters - try learning a new language, hobby, or sport.

Think of one small step you can take each day to get closer to your new goals. These steps will be different for everyone and might include setting a daily reminder of your goals in your phone, meditating for 10 minutes each day to start the day, or going for a walk at the same time each week.


These small actions can create a snowball effect for achieving your new goals. And remind yourself daily of why you deserve success and happiness. It may sound cliché, but the most important person you have to please is yourself. So make sure to stay positive, take risks, and be confident in your decisions!


If you would like to learn more, please visit www.yestotherapy.com to find a therapist that is right for you.


bottom of page