Parenting a Child with Anxiety: Dos, Don'ts, and Practical Tools

Seeing your child struggle with anxiety can be overwhelming. As a parent, you want to help—but knowing how to support them without reinforcing their fears can be tricky. At Yes To Therapy (YTT), we work with many families navigating childhood anxiety and understand the delicate balance of reassurance, boundaries, and coping strategies.

The good news? Small shifts in how you respond to your child’s anxiety can make a big difference.

Here’s what helps—and what doesn’t—when parenting an anxious child.

✅ DO: Validate Their Feelings

When a child is anxious, their emotions feel very real—even if their fears seem irrational. Instead of dismissing their worries, acknowledge them with empathy.

Try saying:

✔️ “I can see this is really hard for you.”

✔️ “It makes sense that you’re feeling nervous.”

🔹 Why this helps: Validating emotions doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with their fears—it means you’re showing them that their feelings are heard and understood.

❌ DON’T: Say “Just Calm Down” or “You’re Overreacting”

Telling a child to calm down can make them feel like their anxiety is wrong or excessive, which may increase distress.

🔹 Instead, guide them through calming strategies (like deep breathing) to help them regulate emotions in the moment.

✅ DO: Teach Coping Skills

Kids with anxiety need tools to manage their emotions.

Some effective strategies include:

🌀 Breathing exercises – “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” (inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth).

🌿 Grounding techniques – Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method (name 5 things you see, 4 things you touch, etc.).

🎭 Role-playing – Practice social situations or fears in a safe, low-pressure way.

🔹 At YTT: Our therapists incorporate play therapy and trauma-informed techniques to help kids develop confidence in using coping tools.

❌ DON’T: Accommodate Every Fear

It’s natural to want to shield your child from distress, but avoiding triggers completely can reinforce anxiety.

🔹 Instead of: Letting them skip school because of test anxiety,

🔹 Try: Helping them prepare with calming techniques and breaking the challenge into smaller steps.

💡 Gradual exposure (facing fears in small, manageable ways) helps children build resilience over time.

✅ DO: Model Healthy Coping

Kids learn by watching how you handle stress. If they see you managing challenges with deep breathing, problem-solving, or self-care, they’re more likely to adopt these behaviors.

Try this:

✔️ Say out loud, “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to take three deep breaths to calm myself.”

❌ DON’T: Expect Anxiety to Disappear Overnight

Anxiety isn’t something kids can just “snap out of.” Progress is gradual, with good days and bad days.

🔹 Focus on small wins, like trying a new coping strategy or facing a fear step by step.

When to Seek Professional Support

If anxiety starts interfering with daily life—affecting school, sleep, or social interactions—it may be time to seek additional support. Therapy can help children and families navigate anxiety in a healthy way.

At Yes To Therapy, our child therapists specialize in play therapy, trauma-informed therapeutic approaches, and parent coaching to help families build effective tools for anxiety management. We offer a compassionate, culturally responsive approach to support both kids and parents on this journey.

If you're looking for personalized support, we’re here to help. Reach out to us to learn more about our child and family therapy services.