The Need And Fear To Belong: Why We Feel Social Anxiety

The need to belong is a fundamental human need. It is the desire to be accepted and valued by others. This need is particularly strong in adolescence, when young people are striving to fit in and be accepted by their peers. For many people, this period is marked by a fear of social anxiety and rejection.

For some people, this fear is so strong that it leads to avoidance of social situations. This can have a major impact on their lives, affecting their ability to work, study, and form relationships. If you suffer from social anxiety, you are not alone. It is a common condition that can be treated effectively.

The Human Need to Belong:

The need to belong is more than a simple desire for acceptance. It is an essential human psychological need. When this need is met, we feel safe, secure, and part of something bigger.

Belonging is essential for well-being and self-esteem; when people feel connected and part of a community, it has positive impacts on their health. We naturally seek out others to form attachments and relationships, and this is especially true during adolescence.

At the same time, the need to belong also increases our vulnerability to feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Fear of rejection and social judgement can result in a feeling of inadequacy and can lead to avoidance of social situations. An inability to find a sense of belonging may cause serious psychological distress and can have a damaging effect on their self-esteem.

The Real Fear of Not Belonging

The fear of not belonging is an aching feeling of being ‘the other’ in a group or an individual. This fear can be triggered by experiencing feeling of exclusion, rejection, or being underestimated due to age, sex, race, culture, socio-economic status, or any other factor.

When we feel excluded, judged or unwanted, it can leave us feeling inadequate and threatened - as if something is wrong with us and we are unable to connect deeply with those around us. This fear can cause worries or extreme anxiety in social situations.

This fear can be compounded if our needs for acceptance and social belonging are greater than those around us. This can leave us feeling lost, anxious, and desperate for connection.

As a society, we need to work towards creating a culture where we accept and belong to each other regardless of our difference. We need to create a safe space that allows people to express themselves without feeling threatened or judged.

The Impact of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can have far-reaching consequences that can impact an individual's life from an emotional and mental health perspective, as well as from academic, career, and personal pursuits.

The fear of not belonging can lead to isolation, depression and mistrust of others. This leads to an inability to build new relationships and take chances in life. Social anxiety can cause individuals to avoid social settings and take solace in being alone. It can also lead to a loss of confidence, self-doubt and a decline in social support structures.

Moreover, social anxiety can cause individuals to second guess themselves and be extremely hard on themselves as they compare themselves with others. This can cause people to reevaluate their goals and their progress, leading to a decline in performance or a rise in self-criticism or self-destructive behavior.

Social anxiety can also increase other associated mental health ailments including panic attacks, OCD, and phobias.

Therefore, it is important to seek therapy and treatment for social anxiety in order to manage symptoms and improve overall wellbeing.

Overcoming Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a real and difficult mental health condition; however, it doesn’t have to be debilitating. With the right help and support, it’s possible to practice coping tools and strategies to help manage symptoms and reduce the fear of social situations. Here are some tips on how to overcome social anxiety:

1. Practice facing your fear: Start small and gradually increase your presence in social situations. Slowly increase your presence in social situations and activities and voluntarily expose yourself to situations that produce anxiety. Gradually increasing your exposure to challenging situations can help you build up confidence and learn more effective coping techniques.

2. Learn and practice breathing techniques: Anxiety can cause difficulty in breathing, resulting in a racing heart and a feeling of tightness in the chest. Practicing breathing techniques can help you to stay calm and reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety.

3. Talk to someone who understands: Talk to someone who understands the different aspects of your anxiety and can give you helpful advice on ways to tackle it. This can be a mental health professional, a trusted friend, or even a family member.

4. Develop a winning self-image: Challenge your negative beliefs with positive ones, remind yourself of past successes, and focus on things that make you feel good.

5. Make time for yourself: Prioritize “me time” and focus on activities that bring you joy and make you feel connected to yourself.

Conclusion

Overcoming social anxiety can be a challenging journey, but it is entirely possible with the right support and strategies. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a courageous step towards healing and growth.

If you’re looking for guidance and support, we invite you to reach out to us at Yes To Therapy. Our experienced therapists are here to help you navigate your feelings and develop effective coping strategies. Together, we can work towards a more confident and fulfilling life.